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Daryl Keeley

Talent Attraction & Retention Coach

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travel

4 words that improve conversations

Picture yourself listening to a friend who is telling you a great story.
Now think about what you’re thinking while they’re telling that story.
You’re thinking about a story you’re going tell that’s “just like” their story, aren’t you?
In your head you’re thinking, “Oh my gosh, I have a story that’s JUST LIKE that!”
“They won’t believe how similar our stories are!”
“I have to keep thinking about my story so I won’t forget it.”
“When will they stop talking so that I can tell my story?”
Notice that you’re now thinking about you. You’ve become focused on your own story and you have actually stopped listening to the other person’s story.
Me telling you a story that’s “just like” your story is not listening.
The conversation becomes a tennis match in which stories are volleyed back and forth – there is no real connection.

If you want to do more than volley the stories back and forth across the net – if you actually want to connect with the other person – try using these four simple words:

“Tell me more about…”

“Tell me more about … a moment in the story, a person in the story, what happened when….”
“Tell me more about” demonstrates that you care about their story, that you’re interested in what they have to say. It lets the other person know that you listened to their story and that you care to hear more.

“Oh my gosh, wait until I tell you what happened to me – it’s just like that!” is about you and your story.
“Tell me more about” is an invitation to connect.
Give it a try!

Embrace frustration

ILiCK

You always have a choice. You can adopt a mindset where you believe the world is conspiring against you, and let frustration stymy you, or you can use setbacks as fuel to course correct and keep going. To conquer frustration, focus on the outcome, not the obstacle.

We often get discouraged right before we have a major breakthrough. Stick with it! An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great.

If you maintain your patience and keep your eye on the prize, you might look back and see that this was a pivotal moment.

 

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